What are the 41 Developmental Assets?/ Positive Family Communication

In 2009, the City of Palo Alto, PAUSD and many community partners established Project Safety Net (PSN) in response to the tragic teen suicide cluster. PSN works to develop and implement short and long-term plans in support of suicide prevention and the social and emotional health of youth and teens in Palo Alto. One of the first recommendations from PSN to the schools and the City, was to adopt the 41 Developmental Assets Framework. Developmental Assets are the positive values, relationships, skills and experiences that help young people thrive, such as Positive Family Communication, Caring School Climate and Community Values Youth. The more assets a child has the more likely that child will thrive. The fewer assets a child has, the more likely they are to get involved with risky behavior like violence and drug and alcohol use. Last October, 2010, our schools, with the support of Project Cornerstone, administered the Developmental Assets survey to over 4000 students in 5th, 7th, and 9th – 12th grades. The survey measures developmental assets levels as well as thriving indicators and risk behaviors. Our youth told us:
• almost half of elementary students don’t have adult role models
• more than half of middle school students don’t feel safe at home, at school or in their neighborhoods
• most high school students don’t feel valued or appreciated by adults in the community
56% of our middle and high school students report enough developmental assets to help them thrive. However, 44% don’t. As a community, we have work to do! Over the next several months, you will be seeing articles in your newsletters that highlight the “Asset of the Month”. The asset will be described and suggestions of how to build those assets in all our youth provided.

For more information, please go the following web pages: paloaltopsn.org, projectcornerstone.org. If you would like to get involved, please contact us at devassetspaloalto@gmail.com

For full survey results of each school, go to: pausd.org/parents/programs/StudentConnectedness/index.shtml



Developmental Asset of the Month – October
Positive Family Communication

A conversation starts. Your child is upset. You’re tired. Pretty soon, the conversation heats into an argument. It ends with a door slam and silence.

Arguments. We’ve all had them with our children. Sometimes, particularly with our teen children, it may feel like most conversations end with slammed doors.

Though it can be challenging to develop the skills for being available for frequent, in depth conversations it is an important role we play in our children’s lives – from the time they learn to talk all the way into adulthood. What we have to do is create an atmosphere of communication – an open door.

The trick with open door communication is that we often don’t realize we create invisible closed doors around us. We get preoccupied and don’t pay enough attention. We’re exhausted and we nod off as our child is in mid-sentence. We jump to conclusions before our child finishes saying things. We assume the worst. We criticize our kids for what they tell us so they close the door the next time out of fear or resentment.

Sometimes there is no communication to begin with, and it’s hard to get your child to say what’s going on in her or his life.

Having an open door means having an open mind, an open attitude. It means listening to understand, not to advocate our position. It means being available when our children need us - and when they don’t. It means taking good care of ourselves so that when our children want to talk, we have open ears and an open heart.

Young people who experience positive family communication experience higher self-esteem, decreased substance use, less anxiety and depression, and greater school engagement. However, in Palo Alto, only 64% of 5th grade students, 52% of 7th grade students and 32% of 9th -12th grade students reported in the Developmental Assets 2010 survey that they have positive communication with their parents and are willing to seek advice from them.. To help promote this valuable asset, October is Positive Family Communication month in Palo Alto.

Establishing positive communication when children are young may help keep the channel open in adolescence. But no matter how old your children are, it’s never too late to start! The following questions can help your family. Encourage your child to answer these questions honestly:

• Ask caring questions such as: How did band practice go? How was the math test? Was the assembly fun?
• Ask your child’s advice or opinion about an important matter.
• If there is a problem at work and you come home upset, let your child know you are not angry with her or him.

The communication skills that young people develop in their families help set the pattern of how they’ll communicate for the rest their lives. Teaching your children to communicate effectively with friends, teachers, co-workers, parents, peers, and others is a lasting legacy that you can give to your children.

For positive family communication to occur, all family members must be comfortable sharing their needs, wishes, and concerns in an honest and trusting environment without fear of rejection.

This article was adapted from Project Cornerstone’s Asset-a-Month and Search Institute Newsletter.